(88/89) Stand up for Yourself: A Simple Way to Never Be Defensive

Updated: Apr 5, 2019


Stand up for yourself! Great advice, but then:


She sounded amazed, as she asked, “You really like that song?”


She made it sound like there was something wrong with me.


I stomped down on a rush of defensiveness and dropped my eyes. A "what's-wrong-with-you-tone-of voice" always has me scrambling, trying to come up with some logical, hopefully significant reasons that would show I have good taste, that my choice was a good one.


She cleared her throat, waiting for an answer. I looked up and then away.


Our society nearly demands that we appear intelligent and in control at all times. Logical, not emotional. To admit that the basement in any way runs the upper stories is close to heresy.


So, go ahead, pile the wood around the stake. I confess.


When experiencing something new, I immediately like it, don’t like it or don’t care. There is no inner-prompting, no thought and certainly no decision.

Really, I have no idea why I love peppermint-fudge-ripple ice cream and dislike, okay hate, those peanut-chip, cookie-frosted cones.


But it is not just ice cream, and it is not just me.


A study showed that when most people buy a car, they do it emotionally: they see, fall in love and sign the papers. At that point, they begin coming up with all the clearly logical reasons why this one was the best (the only) choice.


She asked, “You’re not going to answer me?”


Since I did not choose to like this song, what could I tell her?


That is when I remembered: “Stand up for yourself?"


Whenever you are feeling defensive, turn the question back onto them.

So I took a breath, looked up and asked, “You don’t you like this song?”


She opened her mouth, left it open and then stammered, “I, I don’t know. I guess it's alright.”



Note: There is a lot of good information out there on becoming more self-assertive, including the two links below.

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Why Are You Still Struggling?

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What is the one change that will most lift your life--right now?


And how many times have you made that resolution and been excited; but later, you had to struggle to keep going.


Most of us have struggled and failed with even small changes (less TV, earlier bed, better diet).


I failed. Often. I thought there was something wrong with me: not enough will power; too little self-discipline.


But no. There was nothing wrong. Not with me. Not with you.


Free: these 4 simple steps ease and release even the strongest inner-struggle.


No more quitting Permanent resolutions

The Power of Becoming Your Own Best Friend


Free. Nothing held back.


This link will send it directly to your inbox:

The Power of Becoming Your Own Best Friend
















Stop Being So Defensive

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dance-connection/201311/stop-being-so-defensive









10 Powerful Ways to Stand Up For Yourself

https://www.success.com/10-powerful-ways-to-stand-up-for-yourself-in-any-situation/








A way of gaining strength to stand up for yourself is to take more responsibility for any mistakes:

https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-power-of-taking-responsibility


The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link:

https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement




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