Updated: Sep 20, 2019
For much of my life, I was drowning in blame:
* I blamed my personal problems on the emotional and physical abuse in my childhood;
* I blamed my relationship problems on my partner, the with all the problems;
* I blamed my mistakes on the first person or thing that came to mind; and
* I blamed my failures on circumstances, life in general and God.
I could do nothing substantial to solve my problems, because I had nothing to do with creating them. They were done to me. I was a victim, and as we all know, victims are powerless.
Until I saw a glimmer of hope.
I had been working the graveyard shift and hated it. I had (weakly) objected to my supervisor (several times) and then blamed him, and the company, for his response: “We just can’t make a change right now.”
After 3 ½ years (yes, YEARS), I finally spoke up and said, No more! It came out weak, pathetic really, but he changed my schedule.
Fast forward to a day I was out biking and realized that being stuck on graveyard was never the company's fault. It was all on me (for not speaking up)!
And then I had the strangest thought: If I was partially responsible for my problems, say 10%, then 10% was the amount of power I had to change it.
Well, what if I took 100% of the responsibility, 100% of the blame, even if I did not quite believe it, even when I knew it wasn’t true?
And I found myself seeing more options, more ways to take action.
Increased Inner Strength - 3 Steps
Full disclosure: although I am no longer a victim, I sometimes still feel that way, and the truth is I like it. It feels good to point my blaming finger and feel like there is nothing ‘poor me’ can do about it.
I let myself feel it, simply because that is what I’m feeling ( STEP 1 ).
After a time, I take a deep breath, shoulder the blame ( STEP 2 ) and take action ( STEP 3 ).
And every time I act (no matter how small), my inner-strength grows, as I make my life exactly the way I want it.
She Was Saying
“If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and— I stopped her and asked, “Give yourSELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependant on my mother!"
And that insight could not be unseen. It could keep prodding, pushing and motivating him into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And now you can discover the power of a deep insight free :
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives
* not losing Weight
* or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none)
* or have Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind.
Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you. Imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
This simple (3 step) method is both free and complete (nothing held back).
And you can use it to take control over that part of your life.
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"At any moment, the decision you make
can change the course of your life forever."
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More on releasing a victim mentality:
A Victim Mentality dissipates as we stop the stories and face reality
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love (not a victim mentality). At this link: