Updated: Feb 22
It is true. I blamed my personal problems on the abuse I suffered growing up; I blamed my relationship problems on the one with all the issues: my partner.
I blamed my mistakes on the first person or thing that came to mind; And I blamed my failures on circumstances, life in general and God.
Since I had nothing to do with creating my problems (really, everything was done to me),
I could do nothing to (effectively) solve them.
I was a victim, powerless.
One day I caught a glimmer of change. I was working the graveyard shift and hated it. I had (weakly) objected to my supervisor several times and blamed him for his response: “We just can’t make a change right now.”
After 3 ½ years (yes, years), I finally spoke up and said, No more! It came out weak, pathetic really, but he changed my schedule.
Fast forward to a day I was out biking and had the strangest thought. If I were even partially responsible for my problems, say 10% , then 10% was the amount of power I would have to change.
Well, what if I took 100% of the responsibility (100% of the blame), even if I did not believe it, even if I knew it was not true. But behaved as if it was?
And I began seeing the miracle of a better life: more options.
Increased Inner Strength in 3 Steps
Full disclosure: although I am no longer a victim, I sometimes still feel that way; and I like it. I enjoy pointing my blaming finger and knowing there is nothing poor me can do about it; I also like the idea of not having to do the work it will take to change.
When I feel that way, I let myself feel it, because feeling it releases it. STEP 1.
After a time of feeling it, I take a deep breath and shoulder the responsibility, which means that I stop blaming and start dealing with my problem, the one that is affecting my life. I begin looking at my options, even setting a plan. STEP 2.
STEP 3, I take action. And every time I do (no matter how small the act; successful or not), my inner strength grows, as I continue to make my life exactly the way I want it. Better.
All he ever wanted...
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet who is holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat. She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it tends to stay with us, prodding, pushing and motivating us into a permanent change.
That one insight put him on a path to becoming the man, and success, he had always wanted to be.
Discover Your Own Life-Changing Insight: Free
So many people spend their lives trying to change but stay stuck: being overweight; or trapped in money problems, or an unfulfilling relationship, or a stalled career.
But one, deep insight, one eye-widening moment, can begin leaving that pain behind.
And you can discover your own deep insight with either of these 2 simple techniques:
Both work on a variety of issues
Both are complete (nothing held back), and
Both sent directly to your inbox:
All She ever wanted...
She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—"
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?” Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
A deep insight can, indeed, bring permanent change, and yes, you don’t need me. Who is This Guy?
Why am I encouraging you to find your own answers? Every time we even try for personal understanding, our inner strength increases—a bit more—and that strength translates into other areas of our lives.
Either of these 2 simple techniques can bring you the answers you need, as well as increase your strength. And it's all free. Get started now:
Your email address is 100% secure
More on releasing a victim mentality:
A Victim Mentality dissipates as we stop the stories and face reality
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love (not a victim mentality). At this link: