Updated: Nov 22
It is true. I blamed my personal problems on the abuse I suffered growing up; I blamed my relationship problems on the one with all the issues: my partner.
I blamed my mistakes on the first person or thing that came to mind; And I blamed my failures on circumstances, life in general and God.
And since I had nothing to do with creating my problems (that is, everything was done to me),
I could do nothing to (effectively) solve them.
I was a victim, powerless.
One day I caught a glimmer of change. I was working the graveyard shift and hated it. I had (weakly) objected to my supervisor several times and blamed him for his response: “We just can’t make a change right now.”
After 3 ½ years (yes, years), I finally spoke up and said, No more! It came out weak, pathetic really, but he changed my schedule.
Fast forward to a day I was out biking and had the strangest thought. If I were even partially responsible for my problems, say 10% , then 10% was the amount of power I would have to change.
Well, what if I took 100% of the responsibility (100% of the blame), even if I did not believe it, even if I knew it was not true. But behaved as if it was?
And I began seeing the miracle of a better life: more options.
Increased Inner Strength in 3 Steps
Full disclosure: although I am no longer a victim, I sometimes still feel that way; and I like it. I enjoy pointing my blaming finger and knowing there is nothing poor me can do about it; I also like the idea of not having to do the work it will take to change.
When I feel that way, I let myself feel it, because feeling releases it. STEP 1.
After a time, I take a deep breath and shoulder the responsibility, which means that I stop blaming and start dealing with my problem, the one that is within me and affecting my life. STEP 2.
And STEP 3, I take action. And every time I do (no matter how small the act; successful or not), my inner strength grows, as I continue to make my life exactly the way I want it. Better.
The Next Level
Changing our lives can sometimes mean going our own way, in spite of what others think. Here is a way to completely stop caring what they think. It is a way to be who you are no matter who you are with (e.g. parent, cop, preacher).
All She Ever Wanted. Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power Can Be Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques, can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your techniques now:
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More on releasing a victim mentality:
A Victim Mentality dissipates as we stop the stories and face reality
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love (not a victim mentality). At this link: