Updated: Jul 27
I was on the playground being taunted by three bullies, all using that awful sing-song (what's-wrong-with-you) voice.
Face burning, I edged away, eyes on the ground.
As young as I was, I knew it was a lie: Sticks and stones... but words can never hurt me.
Decades later, I came across this awful quote: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
And I thought: No! People can make us feel inferior, make us feel badly. Words do hurt, and all of the quotes, rhymes and platitudes only serve to help us bury the truth of those feelings.
Anytime we are emotionally abused (which can even be a silent judgement), many of us fill our minds with thoughts that range from what we wish we had said or done to what we wish would happen to the abuser.
Those thoughts, along with the rhymes, quotes and platitudes, all help us stop feeling awful. The body helps too, by tightening and squeezing the breath.
But is stopping those negative emotions so bad? No, it is not. And, yes it is.
No, because a part of those emotions include feeling weak, small, or 'less than.' And, who wants to feel that? !
And Yes, because stopping them adds to our emotional baggage; that is, whatever we do not feel from a traumatic moment is left behind. But allowing those feelings lets them pass through and out, lightening our lives, bit by bit.
Plus, there is an inner strength that comes from facing our emotional truth. And we add to that strength every time we feel what we do not want to feel.
Letting Go of The Abuser
(once and for all)
The problem with ignoring our emotional baggage is that it does not stay ignored. Those thoughts keep coming up at odd moments, along with the negative emotions (in a way, the abuser is still hurting us).
But each time we face the negative, face those feelings, we are standing up to the abuser and releasing ourselves. Eventually, we will think about him/her less and less often, not just because time has passed but because those thoughts and feelings are weakening, disappearing.
The Next Level
Letting go of the past, of course, raises our quality of life; but it takes time. Here is a way to raise your life immediately:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox with this link:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
* Your email address is 100% secure
Note: if there is any sarcasm or put-down humor in your life, here is a simple way to stop it all: Stop Their Sarcasm & Put Down Humor
This was one of my most startling positive changes:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. Here is that link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement