Updated: Mar 13, 2019
Note: Life's problems bring up negative/uncomfortable feelings, and an effective way to dump them is to complain. But if we stop complaining (to 'up' life's quality), what happens to those uncomfortable emotions?
A shoelace breaks, sink backs up, car won’t start and so it goes—small and big—the roof leaks, more taxes owed and sometimes it feels overwhelming.
And, overwhelmed or not, I complained about them all: the car breaking, being broke, breaking in new shoes or no break in the cold. If someone said, “Nice (car, weather or shirt),” I would say, “Yeah, but-- and express a negative".
Even worse, I sometimes used a whiny voice, a voice that sounded a lot like I was asking the listener for help.
And I am quite sure more than a few people went out of their way to avoid me; after all, every complaint is a downer, and even the smallest can put distance in a relationship.
When complaints stop, life's quality rises.
But then what are you supposed to do with those negative feelings?
Most anything physical releases them faster than complaining, like going to the gym, dancing hard to loud music or beating on the bed and screaming. The fastest way of all is to sit quietly, relax the breathing and feel them.
Not sure stopping will make a big difference in your life? Try it for short time. Even 3 days might be enough to convince you to go all the way.
The Next Level UP?
The first level is silence (instead of complaining). The next is yeasaying.
There was a time I stepped on every positive statement: Beautiful day isn’t it? / Oh, sure, but it's going to start raining Friday. And everytime it had the same effect: an awkward pause or a end to the conversation.
I was a master naysayer.
One day, I realized that agreeing with those statements had the opposite effect. It lifted both of us: Beautiful day isn’t it? / Oh, I love days like this; and tomorrow is supposed to be even better.
Not fake enthusiasm or forced positivity, but genuine words spoken quietly
The first few times was such a positive experience that I stepped up to the next level and began making positive statements of my own.
I became a yeasayer.
Next Level ?
In the market one day, I casually asked the clerk, “How’s your day?”
He quietly said, “Great. This is a good day.”
I was surprised by the lift I felt, mostly because his words were genuine, but also because there was nothing special going on in his life or in the store.
A lot has been written on gratitude, but wait! What is coming is less than you might think.
Of course, it includes expressing thanks for the big things, but it is just as (or more) effective to appreciate the small, everyday ones; you know, the take-for-granted-little stuff that does go right and does work.
Some believe that such a practice cannot help but change us, and that it also acts as a magnet, attracting more good things into our lives.
If adding more gratitude to your life sounds good, try this: find 3 things in the morning and 3 in the afternoon that went right/did work. One way to remember by linking your gratitude to something you already do: eating, putting on shoes or starting the car.
So, there you have it. From the negatives of complaining to the heights of yeasaying and gratitude. A better life for all.
. . .
? Why Is It So Easy to
Eat/drink what we know we will regret
Stay up too late with tv, social media or a novel—again Push to get too much done (with too little rest) Delay yet another meal?
And why can't we seem to stop?
FREE: A simple way to change. .
The Power of Becoming Your Own Best Friend
Who will appreciate you for sending them this info on complaining? Here is the url: https://www.danielsperaw.com/single-post/complaining-again-try-this
Some additional thoughts on complaining can be found here:
10 Ways Complaining Less Will Make You Happier: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-to-complain-less-and-be-happier/
What’s It Like to Go Without Complaining for a Month.
Here is a way to quickly relax that even works standing with your eyes open?