Updated: Jul 2, 2019
Take three innocent words, combine two, and the result is a sentence that is as hard as Kevlar and can hold back more than the Hoover Dam.
Nothing gets in; nothing gets out; just ask anyone who is in any way distraught.
Okay then, ask me: Yes, it was unexpected, and it has thrown me off balance.
I guess you could even call it a tragedy; but I’m fine, really; just as I was at sixteen when my sister died, and later too when my Mom did the same. And let’s include the times I broke my arm, lost a job and went through a divorce.
But even if I was not fine, would you really want to know?
If you did, I think you would ask a different question, because Are you okay? comes very close to salivating as it begs for that one, single response: I’m fine.
Not convinced? What happens when someone starts releasing their turmoil? Don’t most around them stampede for higher ground, while the rest struggle to hold a sympathetic expression, try not to fidget and wish they had made a break with the others?
Of the two categories, runner and fidgeter, I have to admit to always leading the pack; and this, I am told, is one of the downsides to always being fine.
Another downside is, well-- The one time I was not quick enough and got caught in another’s emotional storm, my brain froze, along with my tongue, and I felt very, very nervous.
There is also supposed to be the downside of an occasional over-reaction (dam burst), but that hardly ever happens to me; well, almost never; honest.
But okay, I agree. Given what has happened, it might be good if I talked with someone to ease the pain (if I were really that hurt); and to avoid the downside (if it were really that bad).
And if I could find someone who would not run, or fidget, along with just the right moment to begin. Well then, probably I would, you know, talk about it.
Because it is important to talk about these things, to get them out, to free ourselves of the burden. Isn’t it?
Such a cute ending. I especially liked the way it so neatly avoided the truth.
The opposite of I’m fine is to let go and take a chance: to let in the concern, caring and support of others and (with a very good friend) let out that which causes us emotional and physical problems.
But how can we do it without stampeding those around us? Simply by using a normal tone of voice, with little emotion. Just talking about our pain can bring a surprising amount of relief, as well as deepen the connection with those around us.
And, of course, the brave souls who do answer honestly to 'How are you' help give the rest of us permission to do the same.
The ONLY Time You Can Love Yourself
(and lift your life)
One of the most amazing feelings we can experience is someone caring about us, caring for us.
It is a feeling that surrounds, supports and lifts; it makes life better no matter what else is happening. And it can overflows to those around us.
F r e e
Keep All of Your Resolutions
(the easy way)
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One effective way to lift life is to stop all complaining and to replace it with this: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/complaining-again-try-this-lift-your-life
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love, at this link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement