Updated: Aug 31
Take three innocent words, combine two and the result is a sentence that is stronger and more protective than kevlar and can hold back more than the Hoover Dam.
I’m fine. Nothing gets in; nothing gets out.
Just ask anyone who is in any way distraught. Okay then, ask me: Yes, it was unexpected, and it has thrown me off balance.
I guess you could even call it a tragedy; but I’m fine, really; just as I was at sixteen when my sister died, and later too when my Mom did the same. And let’s include the times I broke my arm, lost a job and went through a divorce.
But even if I was not fine, would you really want to know?
If you did, I think you would ask a different question, because Are you okay? comes very close to salivating as it begs for that one, single response: I’m fine.
Not convinced? What happens when someone starts releasing their turmoil? Don’t most around them stampede for higher ground, while the rest struggle to hold a sympathetic expression, try not to fidget and wish they had made a break with the others?
Of the two categories, runner and fidgeter, I have to admit to always leading the pack; and this, I am told, is one of the downsides to always being fine.
Another downside is, well-- The one time I was not quick enough and got caught in another’s emotional storm, my brain froze, along with my tongue, and I felt very, very nervous.
There is also supposed to be the downside of an occasional over-reaction (dam burst), but that hardly ever happens to me; well, almost never; honest.
But okay, I agree. Given what has happened, it might be good if I talked with someone to ease the pain (if I were really that hurt); and to avoid the downside (if it were really that bad).
And if I could find someone who would not run, or fidget, along with just the right moment to begin. Well then, probably, I would, you know, talk about it.
Because it is important to talk, to get these things out, to free ourselves of the burden.
Such a cute ending. I especially liked the way it so neatly avoided the truth.
The opposite of I’m fine is to let go and take a chance: to let out some emotional and/or physical pain and let in the concern, caring and support of others.
But how can we do it without stampeding those around us?
By using a normal tone of voice. Just talking about our pain, without the deluge of emotion, and without the dramatic language, can bring a surprising amount of relief, as well as deepen the connection with those around us.
And, of course, the brave souls who do answer the question Are you okay? quietly and honestly give the rest of us permission (and motivation) to do the same.
Don't Do This!
One very popular way that people release their emotional turmoil is to dump it on those around them. As you will see, there are more effective (and permanent) ways to do release, and besides...
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox with this link:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
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One effective way to lift life is to stop all complaining and to replace it with this: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/complaining-again-try-this-lift-your-life
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love, at this link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement