Updated: Jul 28
My nose is too big, ears too wide, shoulders rounded and feet dead flat. Other than that, I guess I like myself. Well, except for the wrinkles, balding and that tendency toward a balloon belly.
It has always been easy to dislike me: I do it without effort and certainly without conscious choice.
That said, I am glad I am a man, because we guys mainly see handsome models for shaving creams, hair gels and cars; but women are absolutely brainwashed from their first Barbie to that tsunami of ads they saw before breakfast.
With so many perfect people before our eyes, how can we like the imperfect part(s) of ourselves?
However, and I have something in common with those beautiful people. It is a personality shaped, in part, by what we think of our ourselves. And beautiful, or not, any negative thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves weigh heavily on the quality of our lives.
A Path of Self-Acceptance
But how can we possibly accept THAT part?
By realizing that that part is not the problem; it is the negative thoughts and feelings that go with it; it is the embarrassment, shame, irritation and even anger we feel when we notice it.
Nobody likes feeling that way, so we work hard to ignore and hide that part of ourselves.
But imagine not having those feelings! Without them that part would be just another part of you; And you would experience complete self-acceptance, along with a boost in self-esteem (self-love) and self-confidence.
Here, then, are 3 steps to release those feelings:
1.) Relax. Every time we feel negative about ourselves, we automatically tighten the body and breath. This helps us stop those feelings; so, breathe out that tension with each breath.
2.) When you are relaxed, step up to a mirror, look directly at that part and feel the discomfort. For some of us this means feeling disgust, anger or even hate.
Feel whatever is there, and continue breathing out the tension.
3.) Later, do it again. After a number of times, you will probably find that those feelings are not so awful. It may even seem as if you are getting use to them; but, in fact, they are weakening.
And because you are feeling what you do not want to feel, you are growing stronger .
Also, give yourself permission to be that way. Ignoring, hiding or even hating yourself has not been working. Your self-acceptance / self-esteem has remained the same (or worsened).
And, really, in this moment, there is nothing you can do about changing (maybe you can change in the next moment, but not now). So, stop fighting. Give yourself permission to be the way you are, right now. Breathe easily, relax and feel. Breathe easily, relax and accept yourself.
Note: - The more self-acceptance we gain, the easier it is to make positive changes. Being negative with ourselves does not work (at least not for long).
And the time will come when you look up and realize someone is judging that part of you, or you will notice that part, and you will realize that you are not feeling defensive. In that moment, you will know true self-acceptance, along with the increased self-esteem, self confidence and inner strength.
You can weaken those negative feelings faster by feeling the emotion without words. Both words and thoughts dilute emotional release.
If your mind skips back into thoughts, after a few seconds, gently bring yourself back to you (back to increasing your inner strength).
There are 2 keys to success. Consistency: using the mirror at the same time(s) each day can help you remember, as well as tying it to something you already do (e.g. just before dressing in the morning; after a meal; after undressing at night).
The other key is persistence: if you find yourself forgetting/quitting, push yourself back to the mirror and keep increasing your self-confidence, self-esteem / self-love and inner strength. And you will (no matter how it feels, before or after).
Build Even More Self Esteem
Did you know that you can use your mistakes can increase self love, self esteem and self confidence? All it takes is a deep breath and...
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox with this link:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
* Your email address is 100% secure
More on self-acceptance? https://www.wikihow.com/Find-Self-Acceptance
Even more? Self-Acceptance Techniques https://zenhabits.net/acceptance-techniques/
And one more: 4 Things to Know to Accept the Unacceptable in Yourself and Life https://www.awakentheguruinyou.com/blog/4-things-to-know-to-begin-to-accept-the-unacceptable-in-yourself-and-life.html
Whether it is bullying or hurtful words, this is the way to let them go:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: