Updated: Feb 21
My nose is too big, ears too wide, shoulders rounded and feet dead flat. Other than that, I guess I like myself. Well, except for the wrinkles, balding and that tendency toward a balloon belly.
It has always been easy to dislike me. I do it without effort
and certainly without conscious choice.
That said, I am glad I am a man, because we guys mainly see handsome models for shaving creams, hair gels and cars; but women are absolutely brainwashed, from their first Barbie to that tsunami of gorgeous models they saw in the ads (before breakfast).
With so many perfect people before our eyes, how can we even begin to like the imperfect part(s) of ourselves?
But you and I have something in common with those beautiful people. It is a personality shaped, in part, by what we think of our ourselves. And beautiful, or not, any negative thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves weigh heavily on the quality of our lives.
How can we accept that part? By realizing that the part is not the problem; it is the negative thoughts and feelings that go with it; it is the embarrassment, shame, irritation and even anger when we notice it.
Those emotions feel awful, which is why we work so hard to ignore, even hide that part.
Now, imagine not having those feelings! Without them that part would be just another part of you; Without them, you would experience complete self-acceptance, along with a boost in self-esteem (self-love) and self-confidence.
Here, then, are four steps to get rid of those awful feelings:
1.) Relax. Every time we feel negative about ourselves, we automatically try to stop feeling that way by tightening body and breath. Instead, relax; breathe out the tension with each breath.
2.) Then, step up to a mirror, look directly at that part and feel the emotion. For some of us this means feeling disgust, discouragement, anger or even hate.
Feel whatever is there, as you continue breathing out the tension.
3.) After a number of times, you will probably find that those feelings are not so awful. It may even seem as if you are becoming use to them; but, in fact, they are weakening.
And because you are feeling what you do not want to feel, you are growing stronger .
4.) Finally, give yourself permission to be that way, to be imperfect. Ignoring, hiding or even hating ourselves does not work (our self-acceptance / self-esteem stays at the same level, or worse). And self-criticism also brings us down.
Besides, in this moment, there is nothing you can do to change that part (maybe later but not now); so, stop fighting. Give yourself permission to be the way you are right now by relaxing and accepting.
You can weaken those negative feelings faster by feeling them without words. Both words and thoughts dilute emotional release.
After a few seconds, if your mind skips back into thoughts, gently bring yourself back to feeling (which also brings you back to increasing your inner strength).
Here are two keys that can guarantee success. Consistency: using the mirror at the same time(s) each day can help you remember, and so can tying it to something you already do (e.g. before dressing in the morning; after a meal; or before TV/Social Media).
The other key is persistence: if you find yourself forgetting/quitting, push yourself back to the mirror to keep increasing your self-confidence, self-esteem and inner strength. And you will, (bit by bit) every time, no matter how it feels before or after.
And on one miraculous day, you will notice that part of you, or realize someone is judging that part, and find yourself not feeling negative or defensive. In that moment, you will know true self-acceptance, along with increased self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength you deserve.
All he ever wanted...
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet who is holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat. She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it tends to stay with us, prodding, pushing and motivating us into a permanent change.
That one insight put him on a path to becoming the man, and success, he had always wanted to be.
Discover Your Own Life-Changing Insight: Free
So many people spend their lives trying to change but stay stuck: being overweight; or trapped in money problems, or an unfulfilling relationship, or a stalled career.
But one, deep insight, one eye-widening moment, can begin leaving that pain behind.
And you can discover your own deep insight with either of these 2 simple techniques:
Both work on a variety of issues
Both are complete (nothing held back), and
Both sent directly to your inbox:
All She ever wanted...
She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—"
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?” Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
A deep insight can, indeed, bring permanent change, and yes, you don’t need me. Who is This Guy?
Why am I encouraging you to find your own answers? Every time we even try for personal understanding, our inner strength increases—a bit more—and that strength translates into other areas of our lives.
Either of these 2 simple techniques can bring you the answers you need, as well as increase your strength. And it's all free. Get started now:
Your email address is 100% secure
More on self-acceptance? https://www.wikihow.com/Find-Self-Acceptance
Even more? Self-Acceptance Techniques https://zenhabits.net/acceptance-techniques/
And 4 Things to Know to Accept the Unacceptable in Yourself and Life https://www.awakentheguruinyou.com/blog/4-things-to-know-to-begin-to-accept-the-unacceptable-in-yourself-and-life.html
Whether it is bullying or hurtful words, this is the way to let them go:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: