Updated: 6 days ago
How to Really Not Care What People Think (About You)
Long after becoming a man, I still felt ill-at-ease, nervous, around my Father; and I felt the same way around everyone I viewed as authority : police, priests, my boss, even security guards.
If you find it difficult to feel relaxed around these people, here are 2 steps that can help.
1) Admit reality - A positive change is always easier when built on a foundation of truth. Admit that you really do care what people think, especially your parent, boss or ?
2) Feel - The only reason we tighten up around these people is to stop the discomfort we are feeling. Often, that discomfort revolves around the need for approval or the fear of making a mistake (and being reprimanded or ridiculed).
Without those feelings, we would be our normal selves. Without those feelings, all authority figures would become just people.
How to get rid of negative emotions? Take a deep breath and face them, feel them. After a number of times, it can seem as if you are getting use to them, but in reality, they are weakening.
They will weaken even faster if feel them with a relaxed body: breathe out the tension with each breath. Let go, (especially in the stomach, shoulders and neck).
And as those feelings weaken, you will grow stronger, simply because you are stepping up and feeling what you do not want to feel.
If you feel very tense around some authority figures, here is a way way to relax much faster, even with your eyes wide open:
You will probably find yourself tensed up more than once while with those people; gently bring yourself back to breathing/relaxing and feeling. I have also listed some websites below that can help you look relaxed and confident until to start feeling that way).
If you really want to be who you are no matter who you are with, here is an unusual way to do just that, faster. And it starts with answering these 3 questions:
1.) What clothes do you wear that help you fit in (the ones that say I am a student, office or construction worker, biker or soccer mom)?
2.) What products or accessories do you use to improve the basic you?
3.) What part(s) of your body do you disguise or hide (e.g. a crooked tooth, balding, wide hips)?
Now, gather your courage and go out into the world without a piece of identifying clothing, or without one product, or without covering or hiding that part of your body.
Right! Go out with less mask and more you.
Some people hesitate to even try this, because they think they will be looked at strangely, ridiculed or even rejected; they find themselves feeling anxious, embarrassed or outright scared.
Those who do it anyway are often surprised to find that people are way too self-absorbed to notice even big changes; and if they do notice, they can only ask, Is there something different about you?
But Wait! Slow Down
If you are one of those people in a big hurry, do not leave too many items at home. Too many can bring up a tsunami of negative feelings and drown you right out of the experience.
Leaving a lesser amount at home can bring up and weaken/release those feelings - steadily.
[[NOTE - If it seems as if I am down on cool clothing, sparkling accessories and awesome products, I am not. That which makes us feel special, feel cared for and feel good ought to be used in abundance, while letting go of those we hope will bring us greater acceptance, admiration or love.]]
And you will get there even faster with self-empathy and kindness. It is easier to persist if you deal with negative feelings (and yourself) in the easiest possible way (especially if the process takes longer than you thought it would or should).
The reward? Every act along this path makes you a bit stronger and moves you a bit closer to that miraculous ability to be who you are no matter who you are with.
More Inner Strength?
Besides tightening up around negative emotion, many of us hold ourselves back, keep ourselves weaker, with a story. Stepping wide-eyed into reality is another way to increase your power:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox with this link:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
* Your email address is 100% secure
Fear of Authority Figures: 7 Tips on How to Talk to Authority Figures
The Ultimate Guide on How to Not Care About What Other People Think of You and Live the Life You Want at this link:
A simple way to stop their sarcasm and put-down humor:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/single-post/Self-Care-Self-Love-3-Tips--Raise-Your-Quality-of-Life