Updated: Apr 27, 2019
Yes, I know exactly what you are thinking, because it is all coming from me.
Sometimes your thoughts are negative, but mostly they are about how good you think I look and how well you think I’m doing.
When I think uplifting thoughts are coming from you, I feel better, stronger, happier.
Oh, not all the time, just when I feel tired, depressed, stepped on, left out or in some way weak. Your thoughts help push me back up.
Another strategy for getting through life.
But when possible, when I can, I let go of you and face what I do not want to face, feel what I do not want to feel.
Because this releases the negative and makes me stronger:
By suspending the words
Breathing out the body’s tension with each breath
And feeling (whatever is there).
Well, afterward, I leave you out and sometimes tell myself what I need to hear.
Amidst the loud chaos of our lives, Mom single-handedly raised three wild boys and a girl (before disposable diapers, instant dinners and automatic dishwashers).
It was not until long after her death that I realized the depth of her struggles; with us, yes, but also her battles with smoking, weight gain and alcohol.
Mom fought, failed and fought again; only to fail again.
Toward the end, she mostly won, but the negative feelings she must have felt! My own failures have included, painful disappointment, guilt and shame, as well as a loss of self-esteem.
Any time we cause ourselves a period of discomfort, or pain, there is an eventual 'push back,' which is why Mom kept failing.
Her diets were pain filled. She could not eat her favorite foods, and she was hungry too.
More exercise meant, long, boring walks.
And the harder she pushed to keep going the more pain she felt, which created more, and more, 'push back.' Until it was just all too much. And she would quit. Again.
Looking back, I wish I could have taken some of her pain; at least shown her that positive change can be made without the struggle, that she could have stopped working against herself and used that 'push back to her advantage.
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Note – These steps work easily with positive changes like less TV, more exercise, less weight or more sleep. They do not work with addictions , like drugs.
Another way we suppress intrusive thoughts and emotions. And free ourselves.
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement