(90) The Secret to Getting More Asleep (when you just can't)

Updated: Aug 31, 2020

Premature aging; weight gain; weakened immunity; high blood pressure; and low sex drive (are all medically linked to a lack of sleep).

Of course, we also make more mistakes, have more accidents (including auto) and lower our job performance.

AND we care less about, well, everything, our attention span is shorter and many of us turn into the seventh dwarf (right, Grumpy).

Overall, it is a lower quality of life.

Now imagine a (more youthful?) brighter appearance, better health, improved concentration and productivity, and a stronger sex drive.

But How?

For years, I fought through hours of damp and tangled sheets, sleepless nightmares, as I dreaded the coming dawn. And then I discovered the secret to getting more sleep.

Whether it is a snoring bed mate, loud party or our own inner turmoil, the underlying cause is the same: negative emotion that churns up a mind full of (negative?) thoughts and a body full of tension.

The emotion can be fear-based worry; anger-based irritation or anger itself; or hurt-based sadness/grief. It can even be a positive emotion, like excitement. Or maybe it cannot be named.

Regardless, the solution is the same.

Release the Upset

First, give yourself permission to be awake. I know, it sounds counterintuitive, but give it try; after all, awake is where you are in that moment, so be there.

Then, breathe out the body’s tension with each breath; and, release the

upset by feeling it (instead of trying to ignore or fight it).

If you feel it, as you breathe out the tension, it does exactly what you want; you release that which is keeping you awake; and when you have released enough, you will fall naturally into a deeper rest.

The key is to let the emotion do whatever it needs to do, as it releases. It might feel like it is staying in place, or moving around or filling you; it does not matter. If you are feeling it, it is releasing.

Note: Emotion releases faster without thought. Use your breath as an anchor to stay in the moment. When your mind slips back into thoughts, gently bring yourself back to breathing/relaxing and feeling.

Being with your breath can keep you relaxed and resting longer.

IF you are experiencing a lot of a negative emotion, you might be awake most of the night; but, continuing to breath out the tension will give you more rest than fleeing into your thoughts or giving up and getting up.

Can’t Get Yourself to Bed Earlier?

Besides the negative effects listed above, staying up too late often includes eating and drinking what we sorely regret the next day.

But we still stay up too late, in spite of the negative effects, scientific studies and even the toughest New Year’s resolutions. This is because staying up “just a few more minutes," with the tv, social media, computer game or book can feel like a reward for getting through another tough day or period of our lives.

You Deserve

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

So let’s do that, by filling our lives with positive rewards (because every reward we give ourselves weakens the negative ones).

Go on a campaign to create a list of what you like and like to do: by diving into your past for energizing fun; by searching the internet; and by checking out your local rec dept and YW/YMCA.

Create a good list, even if it takes days or weeks, because each new reward can raise your quality of life. And of all you discover, have at least one reward for your mornings, because it is easier to go to bed earlier if you have something to look forward to.

Another way to go to bed earlier is to avoid those big, sweeping resolutions; instead, gently decide to sleep 10 or 15 minutes earlier than usual; and do this until it becomes consistent and then a habit (usually 2 or 3 weeks).

Then go to bed 10 or 15 minutes earlier than that.

Also, instead of relying on the National Sleep Foundation’s recommendations (7 to 9 hours for adults and 8 ½ to 9 ¼ for teens), consider using your own experience. You know how much sleep is too little; and you know what is too much; so, consider giving yourself just a bit less than too much.

And enjoy a better life with all of the benefits, including a brighter (more youthful?) appearance and more energy.

And Now that You are More Rested

Forget your bucket list! This will lift your life higher, and you can start right now:

Way Beyond Your Bucket List


All She Ever Wanted Was...


Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—

I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”

Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.

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His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.

I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”

He immediately said, “My Mother.”

She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.

She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments. ​

His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"

Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).

And That Power is Now Yours:


Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.

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And sent directly to your inbox with this link:

How Many ?

How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?

But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind

* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you

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Click this link and get your free techniques now:

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Additional resources:

Sleep Before Midnight


Go to Bed Earlier


Lack of sleep? An abundant mind-set, includes the perfect amount of sleep:


The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement

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