Updated: Apr 16, 2019
Some believe they carry no emotional baggage. They look inside and do not see anything, do not feel anything, so, really, there is nothing there.
Yet they find themselves snacking when they are not hungry, turning on the TV when they are not much interested or diving into work when there is nothing much to do.
I have been using the pronoun “they,” but people like me also see surprised looks from those around us, as we realize we have overreacted.
And we sometimes feel emotion when there is nothing emotional going on around us. We can even feel emotional when we are alone.
Like the morning I was shaving and suddenly found myself feeling irritable / angry. I immediately attached a story: “It's because Dad kept hitting me and my brothers, and--.”
Maybe that anger was from my childhood, or it could have been from that bully or from an ex or from that jerk-of-a-boss or ?
Too Much Emotion
At some point in our lives most of us have experienced intense emotion. It was too much too handle at the time; so, we distracted ourselves. And whatever we did not feel was left behind, tucked away.
Which now causes us two problems: that emotional baggage sits in the background and drags at the quality of our lives. It keeps us from moving on
And it does not stay tucked away; it keeps popping up and always brings with it a number of negative thoughts.
So, of course, I quickly finished shaving and found a way to distract myself: snacking; jumping into some work or social media; or simply thinking of something else.
The number of possible distractions is very long, but the short list includes those above, as well drugs, alcohol and sex.
Right; addictions! Because addictions are all about avoiding the negative parts of our lives (inside and out).
The Good News
Those negative thoughts and feelings keep coming up because they are trying to release. When we stop fighting and start allowing them, we automatically begin freeing ourselves and really moving on.
And it all begins with a willingness to feel uncomfortable.
When you think you might be turning to a distraction, simply ask, “What am I feeling?" The answers will come sooner/easier if you relax, especially in the stomach, neck and shoulders.
A few tips to move on faster:.
* Every time you continue to feel a negative emotion, you are releasing it forever.
* Thoughts always dilute emotion. Suspend the words and you will release more of the past faster.
* Negative thoughts/feelings always tighten the body; as you feel, breathe out any tension with each breath.
* And letting go of the past is always about “letting go.” Do not try to find emotion; do not try to feel more than is there. Relax and let it come.
Easy? Not at all.
But to feel is to trading some periods of discomfort for the freedom of finally moving on.
The ONLY Time You Can Care (about you)
- and lift your life -
One of the most amazing feelings we can experience is someone caring about us, caring for us.
It is a feeling that surrounds, supports and lifts; it makes life better no matter what else is happening. And it can even overflow (to those around us).
F r e e : A simple way to give yourself that feeling more often.
* Self-care isn't selfish, it's self-esteem
*To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness - Robert Morley
* How you treat yourself is how you are inviting the world to treat you
Raise your quality of life
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Old Emotional Baggage is the reason I think thoughts of me are coming from you:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: