Updated: Aug 29, 2020
Technique 1: A Relaxing Tantrum
Ancient Greek plays were so filled with conflict, treachery and death, they were called tragedies, but they gave their long-ago audiences something special. It was an experience so powerful, they created a special word for it: catharsis (an emotional draining).
In our society, we tend toward an opposite word, stoicism (the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feeling).
We are pressured to be less emotional and more logical;
in fact, those who are too publicly emotional (whiny, angry, hurt) can be looked down upon, even shunned.
In such a setting, it is easy to end up pent-up. And the more pent-up we are the harder it is on our body and quality of life.
Movies are a release if they are teary, scary or action packed, as can screaming in a sports or concert setting. A loud, laughing time with friends can help too, and tears are amazingly cathartic.
If you do not have enough cathartic events in your life, or if the thought of a new release just appeals to you, consider having a good, old-fashioned tantrum.
I know you are too old, and tantrums were probably a big No! No! even when you were the right age; but we are just looking at this, right? No commitments in sight.
Imagine lying on the bed, on your back. Slowly begin to hit the bed with your fists, kick with your heels and say the word No.
Fists. Heels. No.
Increase the speed and effort of all three, including the volume of No! (screaming is encouraged).
The point of exhaustion will come quickly, and you will have done something extraordinary—an in-your-face, I-don’t-care, explosion of cathartic tantrum, as well as a release of most everything negative.
If this seems like something you want to try, make sure strenuous activity is okay with both you and your doctor. Then, take it easy the first times; keep yourself strain and pain free.
And, most of all, enjoy the calm after the storm.
Technique 2: Relax in Chaos
This technique can even be done standing, eyes open, as it brings you calm (lowers stress) anytime, even in chaotic situations. And it only takes a bit of practice at home before using it out in the world.
Start by choosing a memory, a happy, relaxed time. Then, choose a word (or two) that represents it.
If you have trouble coming up with a memory (and some of us do), choose a word like calm, peace or sunset.
When you are ready, find a quiet place and a comfortable seat. Then, take a deep breath and breathe out the body's tension, as you mentally think your word. Think it so quietly that it is barely there (just the word, not the memory). Make it a mental whisper.
And do this with each breath that follows.
NOTE: Why use a word? After some practice, your word will bring a conditioned response, relaxing you faster and deeper.
With each breath that follows, let go of more tension and softly think your word.
Once relaxed, give yourself permission to stay there, enjoy there, as long as you like.
After practicing (6 sessions over 2 or 3 days ? ), you can use this technique anytime, even in the middle of absolute chaos: closed eyes are good but not necessary; a comfortable seat is nice but not needed.
If you do find yourself standing in the midst of bedlam, use breath and word to bring yourself back to calm. Every time your mind skips away, gently bring it back to you.
No chaos? You can refresh, even energize, yourself, by finding a seat and closing your eyes for just seven minutes (although longer is better).
This is a gift you can give yourself, daily; and with some practice, you might find yourself skipping that extra cup of coffee or energy drink.
Note - If you only use this technique out in the world, you might occasionally need to strengthen its effects at home.
The McKinley Health Center reports "Regular practice of relaxation techniques will assist you in relieving muscle tension, reduce anxiety, and improve your overall well being... on a daily basis (it) can produce, over time, a general feeling of relaxation and increased well being that benefits every area of your life."
6 Ways to Feel Better When Feeling Badly
# 1. Do it for YOU - When feeling 'down' or negative, be kind to yourself, especially when you do not feel like it. Schedule less of what you do not want to do and more of what you do. And give yourself some extra treats (activities or healthy foods).
Note - If you do not have enough treats in your life, go on a search (locally and Google): create a list of things you like to do, along with healthy treats. Each reward you discover can further raise your quality of life.
# 2. Activity - Movement can release a lot of negativity. Sure, you can go the gym, but exercise can be hard and boring. Instead, do something fun and physical with friends, or dance at home to loud music, while singing even louder. You can also beat on the bed and scream or use the technique at the top of this post.
# 3. WATER can cleanse more than the body. There were times I was feeling irritable/angry at whatever was going on in my life, took off my clothes and jumped in the river; and jumped right out (too cold); but I felt better and ready to be with my children.
No water nearby? Use the bathtub or shower. Make it cool first, then hot.
# 4. CONTACT - Holding/petting an animal can be very soothing, and human contact can be even better. Talk with someone who will listen, but make it clear that you are not looking for advice.
Or, instead of talking, ask them to sit with you silently; maybe with a hand on your shoulder or even a hug.
# 5. GIVE the next person you see a compliment; or give money/food to someone in need; or volunteer in a soup kitchen. You can be the one who feels better.
#6.) Feel Better - Permanently ?
No technique can stop negative thoughts and feelings; they keep coming up because they are trying to release. Help them leave by taking a moment and feeling them; they will pass right through you and out. Here are 2 quick tips:
Claim them - Blaming keeps bitterness, and other negative feelings, deep within. Claiming them as our own (even when it does not feel that way), gives us the foundation to let them go, once and for all. Those feelings are, after all, within us, and that makes them ours.
Relax - Even the smallest negative feeling automatically tightens the body and restricts the breath. You can release negative emotions faster by feeling them, after using Technique #2.
Keep on keeping on - It generally takes awhile to completely release a negative feeling. Even when it feels like it is not happening keep relaxing and feeling. You will be glad you did.
Always Know What to Do
Discovering those deeper, intuitive answers comes in three simple steps:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
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For more ways to feel better when you feel feel badly:
Greater self-esteem can come from even our mistakes, even the worst ones:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love, at this link: