Updated: Aug 6, 2019
Negative emotions? Like bitterness?
When I was eleven, my cousin stole my birthday money—all of it.
As a young man, the love of my life told me she was moving, out of state, in a few days! And nothing was said about staying in touch.
When I was older, a co-worker went on a campaign of backstabbing lies to the boss. And he got what he wanted. My position.
Have you noticed how easy it is to be bitter? I hope not, but if so, you will know how hard it is to stop; and rightfully so, because being hurt gives us certain, undeniable rights.
We have the right to feel angry, resentful and even hateful, if that is what we are feeling; and we have the right to hold onto bitterness for as long as we want, decades even; we even have the right to make ourselves sick with it.
Yes, sick. Studies show that when I am sinking into bitterness, or any negative emotion, my body is tightening, breath shortening and blood pressure rising.
A long period of any negative emotion can cause permanent medical damage and even shorten life; and it does.
What makes it all worse, what makes it absolutely appalling, is that the target of my bitterness is out there living life; he or she is not feeling much if any of this; her or him is entirely unaware or completely ignoring me.
For those caught in this agonizing web of pain, for all of us who have at least thought of stopping, the question is How ?
1. First realize that negative thoughts and feelings keep coming up because they are trying to release. But we automatically tighten body and breath to keep from feeling too much.
2. Then relax: Let go of negative thoughts/feelings by breathing out the tension, especially in the stomach, shoulders and neck. With each exhale, breathe out more and relax further. Let those negative feelings pass through you, on their way out.
3. Finally, for bitterness especially, ask yourself How long will I let those that hurt me keep holding me back, dimming the quality of my life and keeping me from the happiness I deserve?
Even if by a miracle the offenders did eventually give us the satisfaction of seeing them apologize/pay, it would still be up to us to move on—to push ourselves on, if necessary.
Yes push ourselves! Right out the door to pursue our interests, fulfill our dreams.
To choose life. And live it to the fullest. Now.
Negative emotions? How to accept THAT part of your body:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: