Updated: Aug 31
When I was eleven, my cousin stole my birthday money—all of it.
As a young man, the love of my life told me she was moving, out of state, in a few days! And nothing was said about staying in touch.
A co-worker went on a campaign of backstabbing lies to the boss. And he got what he wanted. My job.
Have you noticed how easy it is to be bitter? I hope not, but if so, you will know how hard it is to stop; and rightfully so, because being hurt gives us certain, irrefutable rights.
We have the right to feel angry, resentful and even hateful, if that is what we are feeling; and we have the right to hold onto our bitterness as long as we want, decades even. We even have the right to make ourselves sick with it.
Yes, sick. Studies show that when I am sinking into bitterness, or any negative emotion, my body is tightening, breath shortening and blood pressure rising.
Dwelling on a negative emotion, over a long period, can cause permanent medical damage and even shorten life; and it does.
What makes it all worse, what makes it absolutely appalling, is that the target of my bitterness is out there living life; he or she is not feeling much if any of this; her or him is entirely unaware or completely ignoring me.
For those caught in this agonizing web of pain, for all of us who have at least thought of stopping, the question is How?
1. Realize that those negative thoughts and feelings keep coming up because they are trying to release.
2. Relax: We automatically tighten body and breath to stop feeling a negative emotion; instead, breathe out that tension, especially in the stomach, shoulders and neck. Breathe it out with each exhale, and let those negative feelings pass through you and out.
3. Ask yourself How long will I let those that hurt me keep holding me back, dimming the quality of my life and keep me from the happiness I deserve?
Even if by a miracle the offenders did eventually give us the satisfaction of seeing them apologize/pay, it would still be up to us to move on—to push ourselves on, if necessary.
Yes push! Right out the door to pursue our interests and fulfill our dreams.
To choose life. And live it to the fullest. Now.
Did you know that forgiveness has very little to do with them and everything to do with freeing ourselves (both from the pain and the culprit); forgiveness also speeds the release of old emotional baggage. Here are 6 tips to make forgiving work for you:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox with this link:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
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Negative emotions? How to accept THAT part of your body:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: