Updated: 7 days ago
Stay in the relationship or leave?
Take the new job or keep the security of the old?
Buy a new car or pay for the repairs?
Although small questions like these can hang us up, big ones can send us into a dense fog of confusion, like What do I want to do with my life?
I hate not knowing, and in those moments it can feel like I will never know but that I should know and there is something wrong with me for not knowing.
And any decision is better than living with the negative
feelings of uncertainty; so, with an angry shake of my head, I push myself to decide. For better or worse. Now!
2 Ways to Decide
1. Logically - thinking of the pros and cons can gives us a feeling of control; plus, we choose the moment to decide. But these logical answers are not always the most energizing and fulfilling, especially in the long run.
2. Listening - allows us to hear that deeper, intuitive answer. This answer can do us the most good, short and long term, because it is what we really want on the most fundamental level.
What keeps these deeper answers hidden from us?
1. Should: This simple word causes great confusion, like the time my brother was going out with two women: one had been doing a lot to help him, and he felt he should be with her (out of gratitude).
The other woman? He simply liked her more.
He had been back and forth for a while, struggling to decide, when I told him what I have told myself many times since: throw out the should and go with your desire - always.
2. Advice can also get in the way. It is good to turn to others for information and opinions, but YOU are the only person on this planet who really knows you. YOU are the one with the answers, your answers, the ones that will work best for you. And, like it or not, YOU are the one in charge.
Plus, every decision you make (however it turns out) increases your inner strength.
3. Tension, too, can keep you from knowing: uncertainty tends to tighten both body and breath; and so does trying to squeeze out an answer. Instead, breathe out the tension and relax. Let the answer come, without your help.
4. No time: our society is way too busy to stop, relax and tune in. And yet, a moment of quiet (with relaxed body and breath) is exactly what can bring the answers you need (as well as a greater measure of peace).
The 4 Steps to Knowing
1. Allow the discomfort of not knowing; because struggling only tightens and blocks the answer; give yourself permission to be uncomfortable.
2. Sit comfortably and relax further with each breath. When you feel relaxed then...
3. Gently ask (barely a whisper), What do I want / want to do?
4. And then let go. Do not try for an answer or even look for one. It will come to you all on its own. And remember, the right answer is what you really want.
If, after a few minutes, it does not, or the answer is not clear, let it go until next time; but you might not have to wait. Intuitive answers often come at odd moments, like during the day or middle of the night.
Even when you do not need an answer, give yourself some quiet time each day (a walk; watching the sun set; or just sitting by yourself in a quiet place).
These moments can release the stress of a life, as well as bring those important insights.
2 Powerful Techniques
To quickly relax into those quiet moments (especially from a chaotic one), here is an unusual technique. It even works while standing with your eyes open. And a second technique can release those negative emotions:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
I stopped her and asked, “Give your SELF?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said and what she had been doing.
Him: Free Insights
His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it tends to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
And That Power is Now Yours:
Either one of these 2 simple techniques can bring you a life-changing insight, one that leads to permanent change.
Both are complete (nothing held back)
And sent directly to your inbox:
How Many ?
How many people, no matter what they try, spend their lives not losing Weight, or in unfulfilling Relationships (or none), or with Money problems or a Stalled career?
But one, eye-widening moment can begin leaving that pain behind
* Imagine seeing the present and past in an instant and knowing that it is no longer you
* Imagine taking control over that part of your life
* And imagine the relief of knowing that you are finally moving on, once and for all.
Click this link and get your free techniques now:
* Your email address is 100% secure
More on tapping into your Deep Answers is at this link:
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. Here is that link: https://www.danielsperaw.com/blog/the-essence-of-personal-improvement