Updated: Jul 27
The play-offs were over and at the front door, Kenny asked, “You’ll be here for the big game?”
The answer died in my throat. “Where did this come from?” I asked.
Kenny turned from the heavy rain and said, “I have an umbrella right here.”
“No it is okay," I said. "My car is close.”
In fact, my car was two blocks away, and I was completely drenched as I ducked into the seat.
Shivering, I had to stop myself from turning on a cold heater.
I was angry.
Saying "No" to offers of help was something I had been doing way too often: at the company picnic last week, I was feeling cold and said No to a sweater; later, feeling tired and even colder, I rejected a ride back to my car, saying, “No, it is just up ahead” (it was a football field away); and yesterday, at a lecture, I said No to the offer of a chair (and the young woman who offered it was pretty too!).
By the time the car's heater warmed up, I was almost home. And there was no place to park. Again, I found myself running through the rain.
As I slammed the door, my roommate looked up and said, “Washing your clothes while wearing them? What would your mother say?”
He added, “I'll heat up the coffee.”
Hot coffee sounded good, as I found myself saying, “No thanks, not right now!”
Again? Could it be so hard to accept a simple offer?
With a rush of embarrassment, I realized the answer had something to do with looking strong or maybe being manly. If so, did people see me as more of a man when I rejected their help; or did they see me as I was beginning to see myself: as the village idiot?
I suddenly stopped, pants half on. I was an idiot, because trying to look strong/manly always meant being uncomfortable.
I shook my head, finished dressing and decided to say "Yes" to the next offer. Hey, how hard could it be?
The next morning, I hit the snooze button too many times and missed breakfast. At work, the newest hire pointed to a box and said something about extra donuts. I smiled and shook my head No.
Immediately disgusted with myself, I angrily shook my head and thought, “What is my problem?”
The night of the big game finally arrived, and I spent a fun evening with friends.
When I opened the door to leave, I yelled back at Kenny, “What is it with your house and the rain?”
He walked up, glanced out at the downpour and laughed. The storm was not supposed to hit until morning.
“I still have that umbrella,” he said with a grin.
Half way down the steps, I stopped. Rain began trickling down my neck. I took a deep breath and let it out with a groan. Forcing myself to turn around, I went back and knocked on the door.
After a moment, Kenny opened it.
He laughed and said, “It’s right here.”
NOTE: We cannot begin to discover our inner strength while acting strong, but we can increase that strength by saying "Yes" to offers when we want to say "Yes."
Faster Inner Strength
Every increase in self-acceptance increases the inner strength, the power (already) within us. Here's how:
All She Ever Wanted Was...
Her: She was saying, “If only I could find the right guy, I would give myself to him, and—
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His business was deep in the red, and he was now desperate.
I asked him, “If there was one person on the planet holding you back, who would it be?”
He immediately said, “My Mother.”
She was giving him money to keep his business afloat.
She had also given him the down payment for his house and had recently taken over the payments.
His insight: "I'm 30 years old and still (like a child) dependent on my mother!"
Both Him & Her: The power of a deep insight is that it cannot be unseen; it will tend to keep prodding, motivating and pushing Him and Her into a permanent change (no resolutions needed).
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For more on being strong/confident:
7 Key Differences Between Being Mentally Strong And Acting Tough
5 Ways to Instantly Appear More Confident
The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care / self-love. At this link: