Updated: Apr 6, 2019
When my daughter said that, I felt shocked, then embarrassed and ashamed. Because I knew it was true.
I had been mostly out of her life between the ages of 13 and 16.
“You ruined my life.”
I knew those words, because I had thought them about my own Dad. He used to beat us, my brothers and I, with his words and sometimes his belt.
Otherwise, he wanted nothing to do with us.
So yes, I used those words; I blamed him; for a long time. And it felt good to point my finger, see him as the cause of my problems, play the helpless victim.
And because victims are powerless, my life was easier. My problems were his fault, so I could do / did not have to do anything about them.
I finally saw the consequences of my choices / behavior coming straight back to me, affecting MY life (while He continued living his life happily unaware).
I would love to tell you that my life changed in an epiphany of white light; but, decades after after admitting I was the cause of my problems, I still sometimes feel like that weak and helpless victim (and still liked it).
But then feelings do not have to dictate behavior, and taking action is a choice.
And then I realized that the more blame I assign myself, the more power I have to change. In fact, taking 100% of the blame (within my mind) (even in relationships), gives me the power to make my life exactly the way I want it.
Oh, that positive change, the one that will most lift your life.
How many times have you made that resolution and felt excited? But later found yourself struggling again.
I usually lost that struggle, with even small changes like less TV, earlier bed or a better diet.
And, really, I thought there was something wrong with me: for not having enough will power; for having too little self-discipline.
But nothing was wrong . . . Not with me. . . Not with you.
Free: 4 simple steps to ease and release even the strongest inner-struggle. . No more quitting. . And your positive change becomes reality.
The Power of Becoming Your Own Best Friend
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The very foundation of personal improvement is self-care/self-love. At this link: