Life Better That It Has Ever Been
Oh, The Reality
That poor guy. Still bumping and tripping his way through the garage, instead of buying a new light bulb.
And her! She enjoys shopping but just put off buying those much-needed pants—again.
And that annoying (possibly dangerous) noise in the car? So many in this group just cannot get around to having it looked at right away.
Well, you might be right if that was all, but many of us put off eating, at times, as well as urinating, and we end up without enough sleep too.
Why? Because it seems that whatever we are doing is more important than what we need.
Just today, I was out biking and felt cold. I had a jacket with me and told myself that I would stop and put it on at the next light. The next light was green!
Ignoring our needs brings up negative emotions: the same ones we feel when someone else puts us off or deny us.
Note: if you are not sure you have these feelings, begin watching your reactions when you tell yourself:
A little longer.
For a long time, I ignored these feelings, but ignored or not, they still shaded a good day or further darkened a dim one.
One to ten, how would you rate the quality of life for these people?
Personally, I would have to give us a four, because every time we put ourselves off, we are momentarily giving ourselves an inner frown. Too many frowns, too close together, and our quality of life drops a bit (further?).
Ah, but each time we take better care of ourselves, we give ourselves a lift; string a few of these together, and life gets better.
Imagine someone who consistently scores a 10: she never runs out of milk for her morning coffee; he immediately takes that tiny, irritating rock out of his shoe; and, she always feeds herself when she is first hungry.
To be a 10, all we have to do is take better care of ourselves, right? But when we try, many of us encounter some inner-resistance.
With that resistance in mind, here are 3 steps to a lighter, easier life.
1. Know that the reasons we give ourselves for waiting 'just a bit longer' always sound logical, even compelling.
And they are almost never true.
At one point in my life, I decided (with a set jaw and steely eyes) to start feeding myself at the first sign of hunger.
When the next meal rolled around, I was busy and just wanted to finish up—something. I decided to stop and eat anyway, but came up with yet another reason for waiting (just a bit longer).
As I again decided to eat, I realized there was a growing tension in my body. I was struggling! Physically.
Believe me, there is an easier way.
When 1st making any resolution, let go of the steely eyes and set jaw; instead, make your choice softly, quietly.
Then, whenever you feel an inner-resistance to taking action, stop and relax: take a deep breath, and when you let it go, release the tension in your body; and with every breath that follows, release more tension.
Once relaxed, it is easier to take action through any inner-resistance; and even as you take action, continue letting go.
Which brings us to number 3. Giving yourself what you need, when you need it, is not selfish.
In fact, making yourself more of a priority can raise your quality of life and make it easier to give to those around you (which can raise their qualities).
An All-Out Campaign
Short version? 1. Ignore those compelling reasons and take care of yourself anyway, right away. 2. Relax through any inner-resistance. 3. Put yourself at the top of your ‘to do’ list.
This should all be called a secret, because there are so few of us scoring a 10; so few of us are experiencing relief from a life that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
And so few of us experiencing one of the most amazing feelings ever: someone caring deeply about us, for us.
It is a feeling that surrounds, supports and lifts. It makes life better no matter what else is happening.
And it is a feeling you can experience more of—from you. So, do that. Go on a campaign to give yourself what you need when you need it.
It might be best to work with one issue at a time, but make this your goal:
experience that miraculous feeling
I began this in-ward journey on Feb. 10, 1971
Over the decades, I have
* Guided individuals and workshops
* Written 6 books, plus 1 for young adults & 2 for children
* Written a nationally syndicated newspaper column
* Hosted a radio talk show on creating positive change
* And you can find me on Twitter and YouTube (@DanielSperaw )